yo yo yo

beatrice who eats oatmeal every morning 

who's little sister is cooler than her 

and who rarely brushes her hair 

who thinks coconut water is really gross and who is trying to like mushrooms 

beatrice who loves when you read your poetry to the class 

who kills every plant she owns 

and thinks about your feelings a lot 

beatrice who cut off her hair and pretends she doesn't regret it 

who prefers cloudy days over sunny 

and who sings until she loses her voice 

beatrice who loves to hike and hates to rollerskate 

who loves the word Cadillac

and hates when people can't swallow their pride 

beatrice who usually goes by olive

olive daphne sunderlage 

bite-size

i want to give you something new and something real
i want to give you a serving sized portion of my heart and i want you to eat it all in one bite
and i want you to ask for seconds and thirds and fourths and fifths
i want to give you a VIP pass to the workings of my brain and i want you to sit back and take it all in

but i just can't

because you see it's world war three and it's my brain versus me
you've gotta fight, my brain tells me, you gotta win you gotta fight
you gotta take all that power, all that beauty, all that might
and turn it into something more than a song written for someone who will never hear it

but i just can't

because i've written chorus upon chorus and song after song after song
but they all sound the same and i'm trying to find someone to blame it on
it's gotta be someone's fault because i'm telling you, it's not mine
but they keep giving me lineups to pick out the criminal
and all i can see is my reflection in their eyes

so i'm sorry that i can't give you a poem that you'll put on your wall
and i'm sorry that i can't take the blame for it
but you have to understand that we're on act 3 of a 10 part play
and this is the battle scene
and you've got your ammunition and your spears
and all my mama gave me was a pencil that's already broken
and a heart too big and too red for all of this

something new: tunes

Playwright Fate- I Blame Coco

I Blame Coco is my favorite music discovery. 

She has such a unique voice, unlike any I've ever heard.

She's Sting's daughter. You can kind of tell by her voice. 

Anthems For A 17 Year Old Girl- Broken Social Scene

This was the first concert I've ever been to. 

They opened for Feist and I was only 8 so I don't remember much.

I remember falling asleep on the stairs that lead to the stage,

and liking this song a whole lot. 

It's been a favorite song ever since.

Baby I'm Yours cover - Arctic Monkeys

This is just the cutest.

Alex Turner's voice was hand crafted by God.

Between The Bars- Elliot Smith

Elliot is my all-time favorite artist. 

His music is so deeply emotional and beautiful and everything.

I love this live recording of one of my favorite songs of his.

Sweetheart, what have you done to us - Keaton Henson

He is beautiful and his voice is beautiful. 

The second video is him reciting a poem and it's really cute.

It says a swear and I'm sorry kinda.

3 AM sprints up the stairs

in 3rd grade i was afraid of bees and in 6th grade i was afraid of change and in 8th grade i was afraid of boys and in 10th grade i was afraid of myself and in 11th grade i was afraid of time and now i'm almost done with 12th grade and i'm still afraid of all of those things but in 2 months i'll have to be afraid of them on my own. 

a teenage shoot-'em-up

I'm tired of taking bullets for you

what?

I'm tired of it 

what are you talking about

come on, just come on 

we have to get going 

you think I'm going to fall for this again

I said I'm tired of taking bullets for you 

It didn't mean anything

you know I love you babe

everybody's waiting in the car 

let's go

I don't want to go

I'm hungry 

there will be food there, darling 

I love you 

let's go

I just want you to give me something 

give me something that's not a pain in my chest 

give me warmth or thrill or a trophy

because I've been chasin' for so long 

been runnin' from bullets for so long 

and my knees are all scraped up 

got shin splints real bad 

because this whole time 

I thought I was saving you

I thought I was taking those bullets for you

that's why I kept getting back up 

the doctor always thinks it's a miracle

i recover so fast

but it's because i got places to be

lovers to save

bullets to take

but baby you bought those bullets 

hell, you bought the gun 

you loaded it 

you're the bad guy 

it was you firing all along 

and I'm just so tired of taking bullets for you 

that's not life

today my dad told me that he didn't like his job 

he followed it up with 

"you know, that's just life" 

but

I don't think that that's what life is 

I don't think you need to settle 

I don't think you have to be stuck doing something you don't love

I refuse to believe that I have to live a life of mediocrity 

I hope when I'm 42 I can tell my daughter that I love what I do and I love what I've done 

that I wouldn't want to be anyone or anything else

and that that's life. 

I guess I just don't want to live a "well, that's life" life. 

shovels and testaments

he taught me a lot about love 

and how it twists and turns 

how it rolls over in bed to be closer 

and how it hardly ever learns 

the bible didn't warn me about heartbreak 

and neither did the preacher 

he taught me about God and prayer 

that I should always dig deeper deeper deeper

but our love, our love digs 2,000 inches deep 

and stretches 5,000 miles wide 

and no chronicle and no testament can make me long 

to be anywhere but right there by his side