praying for scooters to start

i was born when i met you 

it was fun and it was new 

i inhaled your words 

and exhaled my expectations 

as we exchanged dreams 

and our fathers occupations 

i wish i knew then 

what i've learned over again 

that someone can love you more 

than you ever that you could feel

and that my heart would fall

and that this love is real 

things that matter and things that dont

things that do:

my little brothers happiness

how comfy my shoes are 

feeling safe and being safe 

hard work 

parents 

my parents parents 

time spent 

him 

wearing sunscreen 

feeding yourself healthy food 

god 

picking up my sister when it's raining 

waiting for tea to cool 

my skin 

remembering to take pictures 

smiling 

going to see my sisters room when she redecorates

loving the weather 

things that don't: 

competition 

people who are further ahead in life than me 

the color of my bedsheets 

working on a saturday 

copiers 

how often i shave my legs 

disagreeing on music taste 

who makes more money 

instagram fame

hitting a note wrong 

missing the party 

not finishing the book i didn't like 

long waits 

how about this

how about this 

how about we meet up again in 2 years, a little less 

how about we talk about everything that happened to us

and sing songs to eachother in foreign languages 

how about we stay up all night and all day 

how about we take a road trip and get lost 

and you can make fun of my lack of direction 

how about we make a deal 

an eternal one 

where we will stick together 

thick and thin 

how about it's a small affair 

and then we can run off for months 

how about you grow your hair out real long and i will too 

and we will love the winters because we will grow so close 

and we will love the summers, too, even more

how about we ask the sun to bronze our skin 

and bleach our hair all over again 

how about that

how about we do what we want 

and how about we fall deeper in love 

how about we finish school, studying art and whatever the hell you want 

and then we can get out of here 

and spend our days in the places we will grow to love while we're apart 

how about we go everywhere baby 

how about you study your dreams in germany 

and how about we take a train to a somewhere new  every weekend 

and how about you open your own shop 

and work with your hands, like you love to

and how about we have chickens and bees 

and maybe you'll learn to like eggs 

and how about i paint you paintings forever 

and i teach what i love 

how about we let our kids run with their hearts

and teach them all that we've learned

and we can live by the oceans and near the mountains 

and always keep very close with our mums

how about we don't let our memories end here 

how about that

changing like seasons

fall

i first saw you walking into music 101 

every tuesday and thursday 

9am 

your beanie on, shaved head, i assumed you were someone's

and we finally met at your concert 

you sang into the microphone with no shirt on 

i recognized you from class

and i was wearing a sweatshirt that made me way too hot 

it rained outside 

we said hi and exchanged names

and went separate ways 

winter

it was just going to be a regular night 

throwing a bonfire and inviting a few people

i invited him and he brought you 

i remember hearing you whisper "dude, that's olive"

and i blushed 

we drove in the car and i spilt gasoline on me 

i remember you saying that some girls were beautiful and some were hot 

i wondered if you thought i was either 

few days later on campus, you called and asked if i would meet you at the museum cafe 

i did 

you taught me about the universe 

i was supposed to be studying for american history 

but we made history instead

spring

we saw eachother every day after our first true date

when we rode your scooter to eat gross italian 

and watch whip it and kiss 

and nothing could make me want to be anywhere 

but right by your side

but life doesn't work like that 

so you moved back to california

and i moved home 

and i visited you

and you me 

summer

was one for the movies

full of fate and luck and everything between 

working at a camp all night and day

except for the one day a week we had to ourselves 

to dive in the sea and sail to ship rock 

and lay on the dock at night

watching the bioluminescence 

i watched you cry for the first time 

and we had each others back 

hiking all day and all night 

and laughing at all of the drunks 

because they needed something to make them feel good 

while we just needed eachother 

fall

we fell in love in a house of blue 

and we learned and learned 

from books and from eachother 

we stayed up all nights some nights 

painting on the kitchen floor 

and we fought

but always figured things out 

and we realized we wanted to be together for a long time 

but you were leaving soon 

so we counted down the days 

kissed in the library elevators 

and ate so much thai food 

winter 

you left and i'm leaving soon 

and everything feels good and right 

i talk to your mom almost every day

and i think about you almost every second 

and even though you're gone, i know you're coming back to me

and ill come back to you 

but for now we are learning and growing 

and figuring out how to be the best we can for eachother 

and waiting for our next winter together