ahem.

i'm not afraid of introducing myself anymore. my heart finally stays at a normal pace when the teacher calls role on the first day of class because i'm no longer afraid that my sheepish "here" is going to sound like my scratched mix CD from 5th grade and send me into a coughing fit. i'm no longer afraid that the "one unique fact about myself" is going to be super lame and the whole class will "BOOOO" me off of the stage of their consideration for coolness.

I'm me. 

me who falls in love every day

who drives too fast but always uses her blinker

me who never double knots her shoelaces

me who smiles with her mouth closed even though her teeth are fixed now

me who is impartial to gum flavors

and can tie cherry stems in her mouth and kisses too many boys

me who is picky about shoes and books and bed sheets

me who never wants to be not seventeen

and who loves her mom so much she says it twice before hanging up in fear of her not hearing it the first time

ranting
bruising
blushing
guitar strumming
cherry-stem-knot tying
electrifying

so here's me, sitting snarly haired in front of you wearing jeans that are too big around the waist and my dad's sweater from high school, with that mix CD tucked safely under my bed along with the other things I don't need anymore; and my heart is maintaining an average pace. I'm going to own this.

"Here."


-b.